Could the Seattle Seahawks have a rival that isn’t nearly 1,000 miles away? If the group “NFL to Oregon” gets its way, the Hawks could have an I-5 rival in Portland.
The group is egging on Oregon Governor John Kitzhaber (via change.org) to explore bringing the Oakland Raiders to Stumptown, USA. A petition written by the group presents all the typical reasons as to why an NFL team would benefit a city (jobs, tourism, yada yada yada).
So, let’s say it happens — the NFL moves the Raiders to Portland. But, wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT. The Raiders cannot be a Portland team. Not a chance. There is no way the People’s Republic of Portland would allow a mascot that promotes attacking, pillaging and stealing territory!
Portland has two significant, major professional sports teams: the Blazers (NBA) and the Timbers (MLS).
The Blazers is a more-than-fitting mascot for Portland.
And we know the Timbers are a great match for a city as green as P-Town.
Given those two mascots stay consistent to Portland’s personality, we would most definitely have to throw out the Raiders and start from scratch. Here are some ideas that would make sense:
The Portland Banana Slugs
These slimy little guys are native to the Pacific Northwest and would not hurt a fly — in fact, we’re willing to bet a fly could easily hurt a Banana Slug!
The Portland Clams
Sticking with the Northwest theme again, a clam just sorta hangs out. Most people in Portland just sorta hang out.
The Portland Butterflies
There could be a problem with butterflies, however, come to think of it. Though they’re beautiful creatures, they only live for a few days — that’s not a good pairing for NFL fans.
The Portland Grinders
Portland’s magical coffee could be well represented and the team could still bare an aggressive name. JACK would rather battle a Dolphin than a Grinder.
The Portland Hipsters
This is cliche, but, it aligns with the city’s identity. (See Pittsburgh Steelers, Milwaukee Brewers, Edmonton Oilers, etc).
Enough of our suggestions, what do you think?