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Jack’s Numb-Nuts Of The Day

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Scott Barbour
Getty Images

Scott Barbour
Getty Images

Oops. Someone left the practice bombs on the bus.
The bomb squad was dispatched to remove suspicious bags from two Santa Monica, California, city buses. It turns out the black duffel bags with wires coming out of them were mistakenly left on the buses after a weekend training exercise. The props are supposed to look like explosives. But they weren’t removed from the buses as planned after the training session.

But Parking On The Roof Is Free!
A Southern California man’s car ended up on his neighbor’s roof
in an unusual accident over the weekend. Glendale police Sgt. Sean Riley tells City News Service that the driver lost control Saturday afternoon on a driveway in an area where homes are arrayed on a steep hillside. The vehicle ended up on the roof of the next house down the hill. Riley says the driver reported he had a mechanical failure. The driver, his wife and the resident of the neighboring home were unharmed. A crane was brought in to lift the car from the roof, which had minor damage.

Lindsay Lohan’s Pre-Rehab Partying -
Lindsay Lohan appears to be getting the most out of her dwindling days of freedom. The actress was spotted partying with friends over the weekend, just days after a judge sentenced her to 90 days in rehab. “Us Weekly” quotes a source who says Lohan was drinking and smoking at hot spots in San Diego and Santa Monica. There are also reports that “The Mean Girls” actress may have a new beau. She was seen ducking in the back seat of a car with Avi Snow, a nightclub promoter and guitarist in the indie rock band City of the Sun. Lohan’s legal team is due to report back to court on May 2nd. At that time, they’re expected to provide proof that Lindsay has enrolled in a residential treatment program. As part of her sentence, Lohan must also undergo 18 hours of psychotherapy and perform 30 days of community labor. The actress pled no contest last week to misdemeanor charges related to her accident on the Pacific Coast Highway last June.

Meantime, Lohan is getting good reviews for her work on the set of Charlie Sheen’s FX sitcom “Anger Management.” The New York Daily News” quotes sources who say she showed up to the set early on Monday and delivered a “winning” performance. Lohan plays a version of herself in the episode that’s scheduled to air next month. Lohan and Sheen also share screen time in the upcoming “Scary Movie 5,” also due out next month.

Sandra Bullock Breathes Another Sigh Of Relief That She’s Not Married To This Jack-Off
Sandra Bullock’s ex has reportedly taken a fourth wife. People.com says custom motorcycle enthusiast Jesse James wed professional drag racer Alexis DeJoria Sunday in Malibu, California. Both are 43. The couple got engaged late last year. According to People.com, they exchanged vows at the home of DeJoria’s father John Paul DeJoria, the billionaire businessman behind the Paul Mitchell hair care products line. This is the fourth marriage for James who infamously split from Oscar winner Sandra Bullock in 2010 following reports of infidelity. James was also briefly engaged to tattoo artist Kat Von D before they split up in 2011.

$100,000 Down His Throat
The former caretaker of a turn-of-the-century mansion in Pennsylvania will be in court later this week after allegedly drinking more than 100-thousand dollars in whiskey that wasn’t his.  Patricia Hill tells the “Pittsburgh Tribune-Review” that she purchased the Scottdale home last year.  It came with nine cases of Old Farm Pure Rye Whiskey that had been bottled in 1912 and concealed in the mansion’s walls by the original owner.  Hill says caretaker John Saunders helped her remove the cases, but after he later moved out of the house, she discovered that 52 of the 108 bottles of whiskey were missing.  The vanished booze was appraised at 102-thousand-400 dollars by New York auction house Bonhams, and Saunders has since been arrested and charged with receiving stolen property and theft.

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