An American Hero and Champion

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Cate Gillon/Getty Images

Cate Gillon/Getty Images

A whole-hearted congratulations from all of us at JACK to a man who achieved something most of us could only dream of.

This legend, this hero, is Don Gorske, and his grand achievement: 25,000 Big Macs. Meaning, he’s eaten 25,000 Big Macs. So you know it’s not a typo: Twenty-five thousand. No, JACKers, I’m not lying. Yes, really. Here’s the link to the article from USA Today; they rarely report something untrue.

Believe me now?

Wow, right? Imagine if he were rude to a McDonald’s employee and they did something to his burger. He’d totally taste it, wouldn’t he? He’s had so many, if a single spittle made it into the ketchup, you can tell by those sunglasses that you would be in big trouble. And check out that haircut. It’s majestic, and certainly singular of a man who eats Big Macs every day.

Listen to this guy:

“I plan on eating Big Macs until I die,” he said. “I have no intentions of changing. It’s still my favorite food. Nothing has changed in 39 years. I look forward to it every day.”

(source: USA Today article)

He’s dead serious about his Big Macs and his haircut, so don’t mess with him, okay? He was a prison guard. He would beat you to death with a Big Mac if it would reincarnate into a special Big Mac with your soul inside it. Then he would eat it. Then his favorite food would be Big Macs with souls in them. Where does it end?

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