Would Have Worked 10 Years Ago – 6 Excuses For Schwarzenegger’s Lovechild

schwarzenegger lead Would Have Worked 10 Years Ago   6 Excuses For Schwarzeneggers Lovechild

Getty Images

It seems that everyone’s favorite Terminator-turned-politician is getting flack for having a secret baby back in 2001.

Sure, sure- having a lovechild with your household staff while you’re involved in politics is nothing to brag about. However, it did get us thinking… 2001 may not seem like a long time ago, but we’re betting that covering up a Schwarzenegger Lovechild would be easier then than now.

Here are some of the most ridiculous excuses we imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger could have used in 2001. At one point in time, these cultural references were the defining events to tread the dawn of our new millennium. Thank goodness our society has matured so much in the past ten years!

[Source: LA Times]

harry potter Would Have Worked 10 Years Ago   6 Excuses For Schwarzeneggers Lovechild

Dave Hogan / Getty Images

I saw that Harry Potter movie and I think the baby is a muggle-born wizard!


Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone debuted in 2001, and the ensuing enlightenment on the Wizarding World took America by storm. What else does J.K. Rowling’s movies reveal? Even boring, magic-less humans like us can bear magical children. Maybe Schwarzenegger was just trying to have a Parent-Teacher conference at Hogwarts?

xbox1 Would Have Worked 10 Years Ago   6 Excuses For Schwarzeneggers Lovechild

Michel Boutefeu / Getty Images

I’m too embarrassed to buy that XBox video game system for myself.


The tyrant rule of Playstation 2 slipped in 2001 as Microsoft unveiled their first video gaming system- The XBox, a machine that would go on to change the video game market forever. It wouldn’t be until years later that new Dads and Fathers would have enough courage to buy one for himself. Maybe Arnold wanted to be ahead of the curve. After all, wasn’t their slogan “Life is short. Play more?”

michael jordan Would Have Worked 10 Years Ago   6 Excuses For Schwarzeneggers Lovechild

Doug Pensinger / Getty Images

If Michael Jordan can return to basketball, I can return to fatherhood.


Michael Jordan first retired from the NBA in 1993, only to announce his triumphant return in 1995. In 1999, he retired again. If Schwarzenegger wanted to top the 2001 headlines, he could have jumped on the media bandwagon and proved these “Old Dogs” still had that IT! factor.

cell phone Would Have Worked 10 Years Ago   6 Excuses For Schwarzeneggers Lovechild

Sean Gallup / Getty Images

Let’s let’s jump on this “Family Plan” business before it’s too late.


Seems like everybody and their dog has a cell phone these days… don’t you miss the simpler times of 2001? Back in those days, cell phones were few and far between. Who doesn’t want to be at the forefront of technology? Even so, the Schwarzeneggers could use a discount every now and then.

napster Would Have Worked 10 Years Ago   6 Excuses For Schwarzeneggers Lovechild

Chris Hondros / Getty Images

Napster’s busted and we need to blame those ’N Sync downloads on somebody!


Baby’s don’t know how to work computers! We just sat the kid down and he started clicking! The baby didn’t know any better!

junior 2 Would Have Worked 10 Years Ago   6 Excuses For Schwarzeneggers Lovechild

I’m very committed to the ‘Junior’ sequel.


Junior debuted in 1994… and we know we weren’t the only ones holding out for a part two! Schwarzenegger could have announced the kid as part of an elaborate method acting exercise… Hell, he could have had the love-affair with Danny DeVito and we would have taken the news with a smile. Ahhh, the 90’s were so innocent.

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