A real Scotsman never, ever wears anything under his kilt. They let their haggis flop around, and if you decide to look, that’s your problem, not theirs. Well, there’s an organization called the Scottish Tartans Authority that’s in charge of maintaining the standards of traditional Scottish dress. And they’ve just dropped a bomb.
They’ve told Scottish men that the custom is over . . . and it’s time to start wearing underwear under kilts.
Brian Wilton of the Scottish Tartans Authority says, quote, “We are saying, ‘Please use common sense and decency as it can be unhygienic and offensive.’ If you are [renting] a kilt, wear underwear because some of them are left in horrible state.”
This may make logical sense to Wilton and his organization . . . but it’s NOT going over well with men in Scotland or overseas. 39-year-old William Fleming of Washington, D.C. marches in an annual Christmas parade in a kilt. Quote, “A man’s a man. A Highlander doesn’t need underwear. If we did wear underwear, it would be made of, like, twigs.”
Robin Naysmith, who runs the Scottish Affairs Office at the British Embassy, says that he’s still going to wear his kilt how he wants. Quote, “Achhh. I wouldn’t take that [announcement] too seriously. Each to his own, we say.”